In today’s world, building emotional resilience in children is more important than ever. Resilience helps kids manage stress, bounce back from setbacks, and cope with the challenges life throws at them. But how do you teach a child to be resilient? In this guide, we’ll explore 10 practical tips for raising an emotionally resilient child, backed by expert advice. From problem-solving to positive self-talk, these strategies will help your child develop the skills they need to thrive.
Key Takeaways:
Encourage problem-solving skills to build confidence.
Model resilient behavior for your child to emulate.
Use positive self-talk and mindfulness to help manage emotions.
Provide opportunities for gratitude and healthy relationships.
1. Teach Problem-Solving Skills
Why It’s Important: Children need the ability to solve problems on their own to build confidence and resilience. By guiding them through the process of solving small challenges, you’re giving them the tools to handle bigger ones as they grow.
How to Implement It:
Encourage your child to identify a problem and brainstorm solutions.
Ask open-ended questions like, “What do you think would happen if…?”
Celebrate their attempts at solving problems, even if the outcome isn’t perfect.
Expert Insight: “Allowing children to solve problems on their own—within reason—helps them build confidence in their abilities and teaches them that they can overcome obstacles,” says Dr. Michele Borba, child psychologist and author.
2. Model Resilient Behavior
Why It’s Important: Children learn by observing. When you model how to cope with stress and setbacks in a healthy way, you’re teaching them resilience through your actions.
How to Implement It:
Talk out loud about how you’re handling a tough situation calmly.
Share your own feelings and explain what steps you’re taking to manage them.
Show perseverance when faced with challenges instead of giving up.
Example: If you’re feeling overwhelmed, you could say, “I’m feeling stressed right now, so I’m going to take a few deep breaths and make a plan to tackle this problem.”
3. Encourage Positive Self-Talk
Why It’s Important: Negative thoughts can easily spiral out of control. Teaching your child positive self-talk helps them develop a mindset that focuses on solutions rather than problems.
How to Implement It:
Help your child replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations. For example, change “I can’t do this” to “I’ll give it my best try.”
Use phrases like, “You’ve got this!” or “Think about how you solved a similar problem before.”
Expert Insight: “Positive self-talk is one of the simplest and most effective ways to build resilience. When children learn to talk to themselves kindly, it can have a powerful impact on their confidence and stress management,” explains Dr. Laura Markham, child psychologist and founder of Aha! Parenting.
4. Teach Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques
Why It’s Important: Mindfulness practices like deep breathing and meditation can help children manage stress and stay grounded in the present moment. Teaching these techniques early on gives them tools to control their emotions.
How to Implement It:
Introduce deep breathing exercises: Inhale for four counts, hold for four, exhale for four.
Use guided meditations designed for kids, which can be found on apps like Calm or Headspace.
Practice mindfulness together during quiet moments, like focusing on sounds during a walk.
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5. Encourage Them to Step Outside Their Comfort Zone
Why It’s Important: Resilience is built through experiencing new and challenging situations. Encourage your child to try new activities, meet new people, and face their fears in small, manageable ways.
How to Implement It:
Set small goals that encourage your child to step out of their comfort zone.
Support them as they try new things, but don’t push too hard.
Celebrate their courage in trying something new, regardless of the outcome.
Example: If your child is nervous about trying a new sport, encourage them to attend one practice session just to observe, and then take it from there.
6. Set Up a Supportive Routine
Why It’s Important: A consistent routine provides children with a sense of stability and predictability, which can be comforting during times of stress. Having a routine helps children feel more in control of their environment.
How to Implement It:
Establish regular meal times, bedtimes, and play times.
Include downtime in the routine for relaxation and reflection.
Stick to the routine as much as possible, but be flexible when needed.
Expert Insight: “Children thrive on routine. It gives them a sense of security and teaches them how to manage their time and responsibilities effectively,” says Dr. Kenneth Ginsburg, a pediatrician specializing in adolescent medicine.
7. Teach the Value of Failure
Why It’s Important: Failure is a part of life, and learning to handle it gracefully builds resilience. Teach your child that failure isn’t something to fear—it’s an opportunity to learn and grow.
How to Implement It:
Discuss your own failures and what you learned from them.
Encourage your child to try again after they fail, reinforcing that mistakes are part of the process.
Praise the effort rather than the outcome.
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8. Create Opportunities for Gratitude
Why It’s Important: Practicing gratitude can increase positive emotions and help children build resilience by focusing on what they have, rather than what they lack.
How to Implement It:
Have your child write down three things they’re grateful for every day.
Use dinner time to discuss what went well during the day.
Encourage your child to thank people who have helped them.
9. Help Them Develop Healthy Relationships
Why It’s Important: Strong relationships provide children with a support network that they can rely on in difficult times. Helping them form healthy friendships teaches them the value of empathy, communication, and mutual support.
How to Implement It:
Encourage playdates and social activities.
Talk to your child about what makes a good friend.
Model healthy relationships by showing kindness, listening, and resolving conflicts peacefully.
10. Be a Supportive Presence, Not a Fixer
Why It’s Important: It’s natural to want to fix your child’s problems, but sometimes the best way to build resilience is to support them through their struggles without stepping in to solve everything.
How to Implement It:
Listen to their problems without immediately offering solutions.
Ask questions that help them think through their options.
Offer comfort and encouragement, but let them take the lead in finding solutions.
Expert Insight:
“Resilience isn’t about bouncing back; it’s about learning to live with challenges and coming out stronger. When we give our kids space to work through their issues, we teach them that they are capable,” says Dr. Deborah Gilboa, family physician and resilience expert.
Why 101Parenting.org is Your Trusted Resource for Building Resilience
At 101Parenting.org, we focus on providing practical, evidence-based parenting advice to help families thrive. From managing tantrums to fostering resilience, our expert-backed articles are designed to guide parents through every stage of child development. Trust us to offer strategies that build a solid foundation for your child’s well-being, so you can navigate the challenges of parenting with confidence.
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